Poetry & Lyrics

Birthday Wish

I wait
I wonder
It hurts to be here
Wanting
Expecting
Anticipation terrifies
I fear my self-doubt
My doubt of you
I am I worth more or less
Than a table
or a house
Or a card?
How much do I matter?
Am I a first or a second thought?
Would you resent me
If you gave up a table for me?
As I resent you
For not giving one up?
Do I make my needs clear?
Are they foreign to you?
What do I do with my questions?
Do I ask you?
Yes, but when?
Do I wait?
Observing you without mentioning
A word
Exploring this overtime
How do you feel about me?
How do I feel about myself?
Am I undermining myself?
This waiting
On your birthday
I want to see the celebration through
Yet I question
Am I being true to myself by waiting here?
On such an occasion
Can I pull out my questions
With my candle?
I want you to wish upon me
And blow out the candle I hold before you
Make your wish come true
And let me be a part of it
With the light that I hold
But with all of my questions
My fears and my worries
Can I still be the cake?
I don't know
What seemed like romantic fun before
Seems tangled and confused now
So, I'll wait
I'll wait to see what I will do
And what I will feel
What I will discover
And what I will want
I will wait